Welcome, I'm Rahel

In my early 30ies I left the good looking life I had built in my 20ies without a plan—just with the devotion to finding out what else life had to offer me. It was an incredible journey—it took me into my depth, made me confront my fears, patterns, roles and shadows. It was not easy, but worth it.
10 years later I live a life I couldn't have imagined before. Not in a grandiose or expansive way, but because I feel like a completely different human. Rooted in myself, clear, in the driver seat of my life.

Real growth didn't come from pushing harder

For a long time, I believed it did.
I was disciplined. High-functioning. Capable of enduring discomfort. Pushing through was my default.
‍
If something didn’t work, I applied more effort. More insight. More will.
‍
And from the outside, it worked.
I achieved. I functioned. I could handle it.

But I wasn’t at home in myself.
I bent myself to belong.
I overrode my limits to proof.
I suppressed my fears.
I was cold because of old hurt.

What I eventually understood was this:
You can do all the “right” things and still be abandoning yourself while doing them.

You can look successfull and not value yourself.
You can make brave decisions while your body is braced.
You can push forward and override what you feel.

Externally, it may look you figured it out.
Internally, the same pattern is running.
‍
Real change isn't about doing more.
It's about changing who you are while you are doing.

Integration often takes longer than awakening

There are the precious and hard moments that shake us awake. My mothers cancer diagnosis did that for me.
It changed how I looked at life in an instant.

And yet, despite those awakening experiences, we are not magically changed forever. We have insights and revelations—but it takes time and deeper work to truly embody the new won truth in your daily life.
‍
That's not because we haven't awakened enough, or didn't heal ourselves enough.
It's because the body is wired in a certain way since you were born.

And this wiring goes deeper than insight.
The material realm is the last and slowest to change.

That's why it is essential to not just chase expansive experiences, but to slow down and engage in integrative work. So that the body and soul can actually catch up and move forward integrated and whole.

Relationship is not a distraction from individuation

There’s a belief many of us absorb along the way:
that to become ourselves, we need to step away from relationship. And from everything else.

To be alone.
To be unencumbered.
To be free from attachment, influence, or responsibility.

And really, solitude often brings clarity because it reduces activation. The confusion that comes from hearing different voices.
‍
But it's the relationships that reveal integration.
It’s in relationship that old patterns activate.
It’s in intimacy that self-abandonment, over-adaptation, and loss of orientation become visible.
‍
And it’s there—not in isolation—that discernment is actually trained.

Individuation doesn’t require leaving relationship.
It requires no longer disappearing within it.

Much of my work is shaped by this understanding:
that regulation can feel easy alone, and destabilizing in closeness —and that this isn’t a sign of failure, but information.

Relationship is not the obstacle.
It is often the field where integration becomes real.

Letting go is part of the process

When you stop abandoning yourself, certain things will no longer fit.

You outgrow roles, versions, strategies. And those changes ripple outward.

This doesn't mean that you'll have to burn your whole life down. Realistically some relationships will evolve with you—and others won't. Not everybody will be pleased about your boundaries, truth and integrity. The people who benefited the most from your silence, compliance or bending might not like your new self.

But that's not a mistake, that's information.
It's a natural part of the process.

Individuation requires you to lovingly release what doesn't serve you any longer.

You will have to evaluate who and what still belongs to your life moving forward. And how much access they get to your energy.

But that's nothing you need to figure out now—your body will tell you when the time is ripe.

Freedom isn’t the absence of activation. It’s the capacity to stay present when it arises.

How this shapes my work

We don't push for transformation, we don't chase insights—
we slow down enough so you nervous system can rewire.

We build capacity to hold your truth.
Even when it's uncomfortable.
Even if it's not approved by others.

To achieve that, we work with what is alive in your life—and in your body.
‍
The tension in your relationship.
The silent overriding to satisfy your boss.
The anger that surfaces after you said yes instead of no.
The looping questions that keep you awake at night.
‍
We don’t treat relationship as distraction.
We look at where self-abandonment appears in contact —in intimacy, in conflict, in visibility.

And when something no longer fits, we don't rush to fix or rebuild it.
We allow grief, destabilization and being in-between .

Individuation isn't about becoming someone new.
It’s about no longer disappearing inside your own life.

Ashray: a space to return to self

Āshray exists because insight alone is not enough.
Because seeing the pattern does not automatically free you from it.
Because knowing what is true and choosing it are often two different things.

It is a long-form space.Not because change is slow —
but because integration is.

We work at two levels at once:
The chart reveals the unconscious structure —
what you’re wired toward, what you repeat, what you’re here to outgrow.
The nervous system work builds the capacity
to live that truth in real time.

Over months, you stop second-guessing your perception.
You tolerate relational tension without collapsing.
You act from steadiness instead of urgency.

Āshray is not designed for intensity.
It is designed for durability.